Would You Rather Not Carry A Hand Gun?

In the next hour, somewhere in the United States a woman will be assaulted whether at home by her spouse or by a stranger while she is jogging, or carrying groceries back to her car.

In the short amount of time that a person might take on a lunch break, a person, especially a woman can become the victim of a personal attack. With a little planning a person, male or female, does not have to become the next statistic.

There are a number of ways to keep yourself safe. The best way is to have a self-defense plan in place and to carry a self-defense device on your person at all times.

Most attacks happen when you are the least prepared to counter them, example being, you had a stressful day at work and now you have to deal with the five o'clock traffic and you are trying to remember where you parked your car. Now your guard is down and this is the perfect time for an unsuspecting personal attack.

Are you prepared to counter an attack? You need to keep in mind that attackers aren't always the creeps or weird guys that you see on TV that hang around parking lots or in dark alleys. Statistically, more than 80% of rape victims know their assailant beforehand.

There are any number of Self-defense courses available online and many are free. These courses are designed to teach you that just trusting yourself to respond to a bad situation is not always an effective form of self-defense. It is important to have a strategic plan in place before you are targeted by an attacker.

This plan should include knowing when to run, or when to give the attacker what they want or when it might be to your advantage to hold your ground because you have a self-defense weapon such as a gun, knife, Taser or even pepper spray.

These self-defense weapons are of no use to you if you have not taken time to train yourself in their proper use or if you can't readily get to them when needed.

When you have a proper self-defense plan in place, you can avoid becoming the next victim.

The following is a list of ways to protect yourself against a possible attack.

1. Probably the most important thing you need to do to keep yourself safe, is pay attention to your surroundings. Always avoid areas that do not have adequate lighting also keep your distance from strangers. Making this a practice in your daily routine will reduce your chance of being attacked.

2. Take time to acquaint yourself with your self-defense weapon. It makes no sense carrying a self-defense weapon it you don't know how to use it. So take time and practice using it until you become comfortable with its use.

3. Next thing to keep in mind, is having the ability to access your self-defense weapon when necessary. What's the point of walking to your car late at night when you have your weapon somewhere in your pursue and you need it now. Do you think your attacker is going to give you a few moments to go through your pursue and look for it? Keep it in your hands until you get to a place where you feel safe and out of harm's way.

Dedicated To Your Peace of Mind & Personal Security.

I would like to invite you to visit my website at http://www.AmericasVarietyShop.com [http://www.AmericasVarietyShop.com] and look over the many non-lethal self-defense weapons. You will also have a chance to view training videos and learn how to use these weapons.

If the idea of carrying a hand gun for protection is not something that makes you comfortable, than consider looking at self protection weapons that are non-lethal.

Elderspeak and Invisible Old People

This past September (September 1st to be exact) I was in a wheelchair in an emergency room with a fractured knee cap that occurred in a moment of fully lucid but impaired equilibrium. But here's the good news: the bottle of beer I was carrying remained unscathed. No shattered glass or a drop of foamy goodness was lost. (That takes talent!) I should have known better than to imbibe in the second bottle of brew but as the saying goes, "What the heck. I was having a good time." Even better news: the white jeans I was wearing survived without a mark or tear.

Have I learned my lesson? Yes, of course, I have. I'm not a dumb bunny. I no longer drink beer. I now drink white wine. Best of all, my sense of humor remains intact.

After a long wait in the emergency room, I was wheeled into a room by an attendant who thought I was his "sweetie" and waited some more for a nurse (or anyone) to appear. My daughter and son-in-law were standing behind my chair when a nurse arrived. Then the fun began. As if I was not there, the nurse asked my daughter for details about how my injury occurred.

I was thinking, "Why isn't the nurse asking ME those questions. It's MY injury!" Irritation gnawed at me until I finally swung the bulky chair around to face the nurse, hitting a few cabinets in the process. (I should have turned the chair before she entered the room but the space was small.) In a calm, polite tone of voice, I said, "Excuse me, I can hear and understand everything you say and I can answer all your questions. You can speak to ME. I'm not senile." And I smiled.

The poor woman was taken aback. No one had probably spoken to her like that before. After all, she was just applying the accepted protocol for dealing with an old/older person - it's a cultural thing, a "given" - white hair equals incompetence or senility. In her eyes, she had done nothing wrong. I knew that and that's why I intentionally spoke to her in a calm, polite tone of voice.

Old people get used to and even expect (but don't like) to be treated as if they don't exist or are incompetent. It's a societal assumption that old people can't think clearly or remember much and they can't hear or understand if you speak too softly or too fast. After all, most old people are senile or close to it so you have to be patronizing and deal with them as if they are children. Really? REALLY?

Not all old people are on the brink of senility - most are not even close. Mature people function quite well if they are spoken to with respect and treated with the assumption they are competent. If they are mentally impaired, acknowledge their existence and treat them respectfully.

Let's get to the elderspeak element of the "old people are invisible" syndrome which I already experienced before I became invisible. It is beyond annoying and disrespectful. Here is an unrelated example, but typical of the elderspeak iceberg:

My sister and her husband were dedicated runners. They were "mature" - not teenagers. On their daily run around the community and their neighborhood, neighbors, sitting on their front lawn, many with a can of bubbly in their hand, yelled to them as they flew by, "you guys are so cute!" Was my sister angry? You bet. Please don't call mature persons "cute". A six-year-old child is cute. To call an elder "cute" is as demeaning and infantilizing as it gets.

Here's more: If you are a healthcare worker, a mature female patient you just met is not your "sweetie" or "honey". Terms of endearment are appropriate only when there is a romantic relationship. Egads! What a revelation! An old person in a romantic relationship? [gasp!] That's disgusting! Really? No, it's not. Oh, one more thing: Do not call me "young lady". It's patronizing, demeaning, condescending and disrespectful. (Okay, okay, I'm being overly sensitive - and grumpy.)

If those in authority call you cute or utter another term of endearment, it's tempting to want to haul off and smack them into reality, but don't give in to the temptation. Turn it around on them and tell them how cute they are, and what a sweetie pie they are for telling you how cute you are. Be sure to smile as you do it. Take note of their flustered or confused reaction.

Becca R. Levy is Professor of Epidemiology at Yale School of Public Health and Professor of Psychology at Yale University. She is a leading researcher in the fields of social gerontology and psychology of aging. I have been following her work for a very long time. She has been at the forefront of issues that occur as a result of the way competent older adults are often treated and addressed.

Dr. Levy believes that many of those who use elderspeak - including healthcare workers - don't understand that it can be offensive and destructive. She says, "I've heard some people say they want to be able to use terms of endearment - it's their way of expressing their affection for older people - but I've heard older people say it can be belittling," and "In terms of healthcare settings, it's probably a good idea to ask people how they want to be addressed - what is most comfortable for them... "

I can get deep into the weeds on this subject but I think I've made my point. Don't call anyone with gray or white hair (or no hair) that you just met "cute" or "sweetie" or use another term of endearment. Do not automatically assume they are incompetent. Acknowledge and respect their existence. Everyone gets old. One day you will be where they are now and probably in a [gulp!] [gasp!] romantic relationship - if you are lucky. (Yeah, yeah. I know that's disgusting. My elderly sexy Aunt, Miss Prunella, says "Get over it".)

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss USA 2014 Evening Gown Portraits, The Best Gowns!

Miss South Carolina USA 2014 Christina Zapolski: Is this gown one of The Best? Keep reading and find out...

It's "Miss USA" time again and as you know--if you keep up on my NICKVERREOS.COM blog here, I love to talk Beauty pageants and especially Beauty Pageant Gowns so, needless to say, Miss USA is a "BIGGIE" when it comes to this dear subject of mine. The Finals of the Miss USA 2014 pageant are occurring this Sunday, June 8th, live from Baton Rouge Louisiana. Yes kids THIS SUNDAY--on the SAME NIGHT as the Tony Awards! It's like "SuperGay Sunday!" Not sure what I'll record and what I'll watch LIVE. Major Dilemma. Last year's winner was Erin Brady from Connecticut...

Erin Brady Miss USA 2013--We'll have to tune in Sunday night to see who will be the new Miss USA. But now to the important matters at hand: The Evening Gowns. The 51 contestants have been in Louisiana for the last couple of weeks for the preparations, welcome events, parties, and official photo sessions. One of these photo sessions involves the "Evening Gown Portraits" which the contestants take in advance of the Preliminaries and Finals. Lots of times, the ladies wear different gowns for these Portraits as opposed to what they wear for the preliminaries and/or Finals. In addition, some of them wear gowns provided by the Evening Gown Sponsor, Sherri Hill. In this post, I want to highlight my Top Favorite of these gowns in the Miss USA 2014 Evening Gown Portraits. Note: the All-Important Preliminaries occur tonight so I'll have a "Gown Recap" tomorrow of those and will be interested to see if there will be any "Gown Changes". But for now, let's get to my Top Gown Picks:

Miss Ohio USA Madison Gesiotto: from head to toe, this is perfection! Madison looks every bit a QUEEN in this blush fitted gown with silver/pewter flower-and-leaf applique. The fit is great and I love the heavy-to-light falling "rose branches". I would normally think the up-do bun and big ol' earrings would have been "Too Muchey" but here, it really completes the total look.

Gown Score: 9.7

Miss Louisiana USA Brittany Guidry: Since Miss USA 2014 is being held in Brittany's state, she has to make a fabulous impression. And she does in this golden sheath of a gown with silver sequined tulle overlay. She seriously looks like J.Lo attending the Golden Globes. I love it! One of the best of these Evening Gown Portraits.

Gown Score: 9.7

Miss Iowa USA Carlyn Bradarich: 5' 10" tall Carlyn looks fabulous in this statuesque black gown with sequined neckline detail. The dress is very "Couture"-impacting and makes a definite statement; perfect fit, perfect length.

Gown Score: 9.5

Miss Kentucky USA Destin Kincer: Of the white/ivory gowns on display in these Miss USA 2014 Evening Gown Portraits, this is one of the best. The gown features a Mermaid silhouette with an appliqued torso, drop shoulders and illusion front neckline and back. It's very impacting and accentuates her almost 6 foot tall frame.

Gown Score: 9.5


More "Very Good" Ivory Gown Ladies:

Miss Colorado (left) Eleanna Livaditis: I love the simple elegance of these two ivory "Goddess" gowns. Eleanna's features a full gathered skirt and sweetheart neck scooped bodice and scroll-like sequined midriff applique. Very nice.

Gown Score: 9.4

Miss District of Columbia (right) Ciera Nicole Butts: Ciera's gown is similar to Eleanna in silhouette but is definitely more Grecian Goddess-inspired with  the gold mettalic and sequined midriff panel. This gown is perfect for her. I just wish she wasn't crossing her arms like that.

Gown Score: 9.4

And BTW--Ciera's (Miss District of Columbia USA) gown is the same one Miss Wisconsin USA 2014 wore when she won that crown (yes, these same gowns get around...)--Bishara Dorre "Miss Wisconsin USA 2014" above.

Miss South Carolina USA Christina Zapolski: Just by looking at this photo, I can see why this six-foot tall beauty may be one of the favorites to take the crown; she looks like an All-American Olympic Skier/Volleyball/Surfing Champion. In regards to the gown, it's an impressive choice for Christina. The Mermaid shape is perfect for her and the strawberry-red color shines against her blond hair and skin. I also love that her hairstyle is modern, young, un-done but still quite red carpet. Once again, I may not have styled it with the big ol' "Miss Venezuela"-like earrings but, I am #not #hating.

Gown Score: 9.5



More "Very Good" Red Gown Ladies:

Miss Texas USA Lauren Guzman (left): Lauren looks chic, modern and red carpet-ready in this red gown with sequined waist and shoulder strap detail. It's a perfect example of how you can make the same impact in a simpler dress as opposed to a Big Ol' Krazee Mermaid "McMansion" of a Gown (those will be on my following blog post, kids!). And just a note: I could TOTALLY see Lauren as the "Entertainment Reporter" for "Access Hollywood"...or at the very least, she's the new gorgeous weather anchor for a top Texas local news station!

Gown Score: 9.4

Miss Missouri USA Erica Sturdefant (right): I think Erica looks sexy and modern in this Herve Leger-like sheath of a red gown. It's simple, to-the-point and really highlights her figure and in a non-vulgar way. It's so NOT a "Pageant Gown" and I'm so happy she wore it. That's why she's one of my Top Gown picks.

Gown Score: 9.4

Miss Maine USA Samantha Dahlborg: Naturally, what first got my attention was the photo and the fluttery chiffon overlay of the gown. It's like there was a fan but only on one half of her gown. Speaking of the gown, I like it. The rust/gray and teal gown features a plunging neckline, silver sequin applique at the waist/midriff and gathered bust. It is elegant and very "Spartan Queen". I give her (or her "Glam Squad' team) points for keeping the hair simple and elegant and avoiding the accessories; the gown is enough.

Gown score: 9.3

Miss Wisconsin USA Bishara Dorre: I LOVE the bright canary yellow color of this gown. I think it's perfect against Bishara's beautiful skin color. I also like the dress style--with the sequined bodice, defined waist and gathered full chiffon skirt. Her hair, drop earrings, and MILLION DOLLAR Smile finish the look. She looks sweet but above all very pretty; it's the perfect silhouette (and color) of a dress for her.

Gown Score: 9.3 

Miss Connecticut USA Desiree Perez: This black strapless gown may not be as "impacting' as some of the others (see below), but the fit is flawless and the simple elegant style is what leads me to put it here as one of my Top Gown Picks from the Miss USA 2014 Evening Gown Portraits. I like the draped/knotted bust and silver sequined "crown"-like midriff detail. Good job Connecticut!

Gown Score: 9.3

Miss California USA Cassandra Kunze: I am adding Cassandra--and this gown--in my "Top Gown" blog post just because she looks fun Disco Fabulous! Seriously, this golden/copper sequined gown is like a Disco Ball--a Sexy Disco Ball at that! It's impacting and Va Va Voom in its style and unabashed high-wattage factor. I don't think the come-hither-I-will-steal-your-husband-away pose helps but overall, she's owning this gown and I would hang out with her in this dress.

Gown Score: 9.0

Miss Oregon USA Emma Pelett: Finally, I placed Emma and this gown here because of the overt 50's Hollywood Glamour Goddess silhouette of this gown. the jewel blue taffeta gown features diagonal draping and pleating that ends up in a side "fall" with silver sequined accents at the side waist. It's the only one of its type within the Miss USA Evening Gown Portraits and it stood out for me. Her side-swept hair style worked but I would have done without the bracelet/cuff; the gown is enough.

Gown score: 9.0


***NEXT UP: My Picks for the "Uh Oh!" and "OOOOOH GURL!" Gowns from the Miss USA 2014 Evening Gown Portraits!!!