SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss Universe 2013 Preliminary Competition EVENING GOWNS Part Two: The "Oh Dear!/No She Didn't!" List

 

GURLLL!!!! What Were You Thinking? Miss Belgium Noemi Happart and Miss Turks & Caicos Snwazna Adams try to smile while ending up in my "Oh Dear!" Miss Universe 2013 Preliminary Competition Evening Gown List--Crocus City Hall Moscow Russia

All Photos Courtesy of MissUniverse.com

Well, fellow Pageant Fanatics, in my last post HERE I've discussed my Top 20 BEST GOWNS from last night's 2013 Miss Universe Preliminary Competition so naturally, you know what comes next...THE "UH OH!!/Oh Dear!/What Was She Thinking?" List. Every time one of these girls came on stage, I yelled a loud "OOOOOHHHHHH!!!" and then smiled and remembered why I LOVE watching beauty pageants, especially the Miss Universe Preliminaries. So, let's get to it...in reverse order from "Uh Oh" to "OH NO SHE DIDN'T" Worst, here's my "Top 13" List--Enjoy and I welcome any and all of your comments and thoughts of course!



First I want to start with my two BIGGEST GOWN DISAPPOINTMENTS...

Miss Dominican Republic Yaritza Reyes (left) and Miss Israel Yitaish Aynaw (right)--were two big disappointments for me, when it came to the evening gowns they wore at the 2013 Miss Universe Preliminary Competition. Yaritza and Yityish are two of the most beautiful contestants in the pageant and they succeeded in looking less-than outstanding...

Miss Dominican Republic's gown choice was dowdy and Mother-of-the-Bride unflattering and then THAT HAIRSTYLE!!! Whoever ill-advised her to do this should be fired!

And Miss Israel's gown choice wasn't bad but it was so bland, too tight on the hips and well, I expected SOOO much more from this Supermodel gorgeous beauty. At least from the neck up, she was PERFECTION!



And now the "Uh Oh!" Top 13:

No. 13 Miss Azerbaijan Aysel Manafova: Aysel wore this same gown for her Evening Gown Portraits on the Miss Universe website. I didn't like it then and I don't like now. It featured a strapless sequined bustier with (I think) attached panties and a see-though chiffon skirt section. Overall, it's tacky and something straight out of a Prom-&-Pageant shop.

No. 12 Miss Turkey Berrin Keklikler: In the photos above, the gown doesn't look so bad (she also wore the same gown for her Miss Universe website Evening Gown Portrait). But during the Preliminaries, you get to see that not only is this a white floaty chiffon gown but...it also includes a sequined hot pants jumpsuit! Yes kids, those are crystal-encrusted booty shorts under all that. It's a HOT MESS. Someone needs to tell her that this is OK for a Eurovision/Las Vegas After Party, but not for "Miss Universe".

No. 11 Miss Bulgaria Veneta Krasteva: Veneta wore this same sparkly gown for the Evening Gown Portrait and I wasn't a fan.

She looks like Adrienne Maloof's (former cast member from "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills") twin sister! The gown is Vegas tacky, her hair is from 1988 and she just looks much older than she probably is.

No. 10 Miss Poland Paulina Krupinska: NOOOOOO Paulina! I told you I didn't like this dress when you wore it in the Miss Universe Website Evening gown Portraits. Why didn't you read my blog and wear something else? Paulina is supermodel gorgeous and I'm sure she'll still make it into the Top 15/16 but this gown is store bought, too short and garish in its color-and-sequins combination. This is cute for a "Sweet Sixteen" party but NOT for a world stage such as the Miss Universe Pageant.

No. 9 Miss Romania Roxana Andrei: Another contestant wearing the same tacky gown she wore in the Evening Gown Portraits. When will these girls ever learn? This gown looks too much like a National Costume and less like a gown one wears for Miss Universe. And imagine if an actress or TV personality wore this at an awards show/red carpet event? They would be INSTANTLY on the "NO!" section.

No. 8 Miss Turks & Caicos Snwazna Adams: On a positive note, I give her "At-a-Gurl!" points for being so bold as to actually wear an apple green chiffon strapless gown over matching poly-satin "cigarette"/Capri pants! And yes, kids, this a Gown-and-Capri pant combo. And that leads me to also put her in my "Uh Oh" list because...SHE IS WEARING A GOWN-&-CAPRI PANTS ensemble!! These girls have lost their style minds.

No. 7 Miss Austria Doris Hofmann: Doris is stunning--one of the prettiest contestants from Europe in fact. But this gown...It is a perfect example of the need for EDITING! The gown featured a white charmeuse satin strapless corset and fitted skirt, falling light blue chiffon pieces that came from the neckline of the bustier(?), oversized blue and silver sequins (on a positive note: the sequins looked expensive), and if that wasn't enough, a matching bejeweled neck-piece! Too Mucheey.

No. 6 Miss Aruba Stefanie Evangelista: I didn't like this gown that she also wore for her Evening Gown Portrait on the Miss Universe website. It is Scheherazade Belly Dancer-at-a-Questionable Bar-in-Marrakesh BAD! Another gown choice in need of serious editing; there's just TOO MUCHEEY going on.

No. 5 Miss Serbia Ana Vrcelj: When Miss Serbia came out in this white satin and chiffon gown , I thought "OK, this is not good", and then I focused on the ruffled "rosette" appliques on the hips and thought "Oh, this is really BAAAD!". Two questions: A) why would any designer place these tacky-looking things on a dress, and B) why place them on the hips? 

They look like those "Prize Ribbon things" one gives at dog shows...without the satin ribbon/tape.

No. 4 Miss Great Britain Amy Willerton: I was really looking forward to what Amy would be wearing for the Preliminary Evening Gown Competition. She's very beautiful, looks amazing in her "Glamour" photo and swimsuit and therefore, is one of the top favorites, but...this was an absolute MESS! Let me try and describe this crazy gown: it's a strapless SUPER Mermaid-shaped gown with ombre-like shadings of various lilac, purple and white colors in what looks like a bunch of hair scrunchies. I am all about DRAMA and I get that but, this was a DRAMA miss. And on top of everything, did she really need that diamante necklace and earrings??? Let me answer that: No!

No. 3 Miss Lithuania Simona Burbaite: I have two words: HEFTY BAG. I cannot believe she would wear a gown made of a fabrication that looks very much like a garbage bag. Why didn't a  (closeted) Russian Gay backstage working in the hair and makeup department didn't warn her, is beyond me.

No. 2 Miss Belgium Noemi Happart: Noemi's gown choice was so Tacky-licious and bad, that yes, she made it to "No. 2" in my "Oh No She Didn't!" List. This strapless golden colored gown featured a fitted bustier and multi-ruffled hi-lo "Can-Can" attached skirt. Under any circumstances, this is a NO. How anyone would see this on a hanger--or a sketch of it--and say "Oui! I want that!" makes me seriously question her taste level. And I didn't even begin to mention those super-tacky gold stacked pumps!



And My No. 1 "Oh No She Didn't!" Evening Gown form the 2013 Miss Universe Preliminaries Is...

Miss El Salvador Alba Delgado: There were so many contenders for the Top "Uh Oh!" Evening Gown Prize but when Miss El Salvador came out in this canary yellow chiffon and applique gown...and the camera gave a close-up on her...um..."Sistahs", I was like "Done and Done!"...Take a look at what I am talking about:

There are silver jeweled crystals ON HER NIPPLES!!! Seriously, what was Alba thinking?  When she picked this gown? Why didn't anyone tell her???!!! It drives me so LOCO, that yes, she deserves the Top Prize in the "Oh No You Didn't!" List for the 2013 Miss Universe Preliminary Evening Gown Competition.



So...what did you guys think? Any gowns in this group that you think shouldn't have been her? And why? I'd love to read your comments below!! Until then---stay tuned for my Post-Miss Universe 2013 Final Telecast Evening Gown Review this weekend!!!

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss Universe 2013 EVENING GOWN Portraits Review Part Two: The "Oh No She Didn't/Ayyy Mija's!" Group!

Oh Dear! Miss Azerbaijan Aysel Manafova (left) and Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen (right)--Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portraits

All Photos Courtesy of MissUniverse.com

Continuing with my Review of the Miss Universe 2013 website just-released "Evening Gown Portraits"...in my last post, I talked about the "good" ones/my favorites of the bunch, so now it's time for the "Oh No She Didn't" or as my mom would say, the "Ayyy Mija's!" of the gowns. Whether these beautiful ladies were ill-advised or they might just have questionable taste levels (or maybe this was the last dress on the rack), they ended up here. And yes, we know that some of these might not be the actual evening gowns they will wear for the Preliminaries (which take place in less than a week on November 5th) and for at least this bunch, let's hope so! Now, for this group of "Oh Dear's", I decided to separate them into specific sections...keep reading and you'll know what I mean:

The "Real Housewives of Miss Universe 2013":

Miss Bulgaria Veneta Kresteva: Oh huney! One wrong look from Veneta in this gown and she might cut you...with some sequins! While I get the stage impact of this navy and silver completely beaded gown, I just think she looks more as if she was hosting the "Eurovision" Contest. And yes, in this, she looks like a "Real Housewife of Beverly Hills" who already has had two husbands and four kids and is heading to a party in Palms Casino Las Vegas...via private plane.

Miss Estonia Kristina Karjalainen (left): This royal blue gown looks so dated and soooo POLYESTER-y, I just cannot fathom why she chose this or who made her choose it and how she felt this was "Miss Universe" material. Kristina totally looks like a cast member of the "Real Housewives of Orange County" in this.

Miss Netherlands Stephanie Tency (right): This ivory beaded gown is a nice gown, but again, very dated and just screams 1996 wedding guest at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Her too-bleached hair and pouf-ed up style doesn't help either. Another cast member of the "Real Housewives" series yet again.

Miss Russia Elmira Abdrazakova: I'm sure Elmira is a lovely woman but this entire look is straight out of "The Shah's of Sunset". The black dress with silver crystal waist and sleeve hem accents plus those stripper platform pumps poking out...it's just too tacky-licious. And then, THAT hair! This is the girl your Mom and Dad warned you (at the last Bar Mitzvah you were at) to stay far, far away from because nothing good is going to come out of it.

Miss Slovenia Nina Burdevic: Nina chose this printed gown in what could best be described as a "puke-y" color combination; it hurts my eyes just looking at it. I think that possibly on an olive-skinned contestant, I might like it more, but on Nina, it looks a little "Real Housewives of Slovenia".



The Pageant Betty's:

Miss China Jin Ye (left): Let's start from the top: the bouffant, the diamante earrings and necklace (too mucheyy!) and if that wasn't enough, let's just throw in a bracelet as well. Edit. Edit. Edit girls when it comes to accessories. And then there's the strapless mermaid shaped gown with organza rosettes. The entire package is Pageant Betty not red carpet/Miss Universe fab.

Miss Ethiopia Maheder Tigabe (right): Ahhh, bless her heart. The reason why beautiful Maheder is here is again, the entire package. Her hair is sooo Pageant Betty 1998, the dress looks like it is from a Prom-&-Pageant shop; it looks cheap, and it is waaaay too short--about 8 inches in fact. I know some of these contestants don't have the options (or money) of the Top Girls, but good styling and the proper gown length could, at the very least, make it acceptable.



The Slit Queens:

While I love me a slit and some gowns can do slits very well, some cannot. And these are two examples of the latter--and especially when you combine it with the total unfortunate look:

Miss Honduras Diana Schoutsen (left): No, no and no. From the hair style (so Prom-&Pageant 90's), the big ol' earrings to the tacky silver stacked pumps, the entire look is so dated. The dress itself doesn't do Diana any favors; it looks cheap and typical and yes, the slit just takes it over the edge. It all needs editing.

Miss Italy Luna Voce (right): Luna won the "Top Model of The World" pageant (according to Wikipedia) but I would never, ever know this from looking at this garish choice of a gown that naturally, has to have a slit. This is more appropriate for a Vegas nightclub act before she strips down to a almost-nothing sequined bikini top and thong. Seriously.



Sheer Mess:

Miss Azerbaijan Aysel Manafova: Ayyy Mija! Where are you going in this concoction? Oversized jeweled strapless bustier attached to black panties and a see-through chiffon overskirt. While I applaud the sheer tenacity to "Just Go For It" by wearing this ensemble, I think the taste level is questionable and maybe three more layers of that black chiffon would have helped.

Miss Nicaragua Nastassja Bolivar: This is a confusing gown for me. It has heavily sequined applique on the sides, top, sleeves and then panels of royal blue chiffon godets in the front and the back for some reason. I can just hear fashion designer--and former "Project Runway" judge--Michael Kors now: "She's POOPING Chiffon!". And then, the lining: it stops just where her bootie ends. Why? Who knows. She's like a belly dancer about to perform a dance to Ravel's "Bolero" in a questionable Moroccan nightclub.

Miss Angola Vaumara Rebelo (left): I think the gold lace sequin applique in this gown is interesting but I'm confused why all of a sudden there's blue in the wrists and once again--like on "Miss Nicaragua", the lining awkwardly stops way too close to her cha-cha.

Miss Aruba Stefanie Guillen Evangelista (right): Oh no. Unless she is figure skating to Rimsky-Korsakov's "Scheherazade", this gown is unacceptable. It's trashy, cheap-looking and badly designed.



Cha Cha Girls:

Miss Paraguay Guadalupe Gonzalez Talavera: This gown--featuring a nude-colored strapless bustier with black crystal applique--and black satin and tulle full skirt is two minutes away from a Folies Bergère show that got cancelled. The gown looks as if it was attacked by a cheap fabric store in Downtown L.A. Cha-Cha Not.

Miss Nigeria Stephanie Okwu: God bless Stephanie for even thinking that this was cute. She either asked an actual fashion designer--or saw this on a rack and said "Yep! I'll take it!". This Halloween-orange mermaid ruffle iridescent POLYESTER mess of a gown is THE definition of Bad Cha-Cha. This is a dress one wears at the Rio de Janeiro Carnival on a float...if you're a fabulous Drag Queen. Otherwise, not so much.

Miss Romania Roxana Andrei: This "interesting" design combines both Cha-Cha aspects as well as semi-Asian influences. There's the oversized blouson bishop sleeves and high slit (Cha-Cha) and then the red printed applique satin fabrication (a little more "Asiana"). Irregardless, the entire look is more of a "Dancing With The Stars" Hostess...in Macau.



The "Underwhelming Gown Prize" Goes To:

Miss Norway Mari Ekelof: Mari, Please...I want you to just try!! In this "Evening Gown Portrait", you're not even trying! A) You look as bored as a web-searching twenty-something at their local Starbucks. And B) this slate blue chiffon maxi-dress is not what one chooses to feature on their "Miss Universe Evening Gown" portrait. It's a nice dress to bring to your Cancun vacation--and wear for after-pool cocktails-and-dinner night--but not to this.



The "At-a-Girl/Oh No You Didn't" Prize Goes To:

Miss Haiti Mondiana Pierre: I have two words: Go Mondiana! First, I love how she incorporated some of the Haitian flag colors into her gown...as FEATHERS that trickled down from her gold embroidered Empire-waisted dress. It's half National Costume/half evening gown (a very small half!). She's sooo GORGEOUS, but the dress is definitely "Ayyy Mija!/No She Didn't!".



Finally, the "Please Go Back To The Tony Ward Couture Show Look":

Miss Poland Paulina Krupisnka: I don't necessarily dislike this evening gown on "Miss Poland" Paulina Krupinska so much; yes, it's a bit tacky and cheap-looking (and yes, the color combination is a bit garish) but it's OK. It's the fact that she looks so underwhelming and not "Miss Universe" material in this entire look--from the 1990's side swept hairstyle to the pose, to the earrings and shoes. It's a FAR CRY from what she looked like last week modeling in the Tony Ward Couture runway show at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week Russia:

Paulina: Please do this above and NOT what I saw in that "Miss Universe 2013 Evening Gown Portrait", if you have to borrow one of the $50,000+ costing Tony Ward Couture gowns, do it, and make sure to pay for the dry cleaning afterward--and send him a BIG bouquet of flowers!--just do it! Trust me, it will only help you darling.

SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss World 2013 GOWN REVIEW Part 2, More Semi Finalists + The Good & "Uh Oh's"!

Golden Big Bird Hi-Lo or Sheer Runway Gal: Which one of these girls (and their gowns) made it into my "Uh Oh!" section? Keep reading...Miss World 2013 Final Show, Nusa Dua Indonesia

(All Photos Courtesy of Miss World Facebook)

In one of my previous posts, I gave my "Nick Two Cents" on the "Miss World 2013" gowns--for the Winner the gorgeous Megan Young "Miss Philippines", as  well as the Top Ten Semi-Finalists...So now, it's time to discuss the rest of the Top 20 contestants, as well as the gowns/contestants that didn't end up in the Top 10/20 but I thought need a "good" mention...plus, naturally, my "What Was She Thinking?" group. And yes, there are LOTS! Shall we get started?





The Rest of the Top 20 "Miss World 2013" Final Show:

Miss Aruba Larissa Leeuwe (left): Larissa wore a red satin gown with a very busy (and very 1990s shoulder/neckline detail). The red gown plus that hairstyle screamed Prom..or at least a beauty pageant circa 1997.



Miss Belgium Noemi Happart (right): Noemi! What. Were. You. Thinking? This looks like something a girl from a tacky "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" TV show would wear. The "Miss World Belgium" stylists need some help. ASAP. Pink. Satin, Cut-outs. Too-Short. And too not on-trend. And that hair!

Miss Dominican Republic Joely Bernat (left): Beautiful gown. Simple yet elegant. Fits well and great top section. And notice: perfect length...no tacky platform heels anywhere in sight! Muy bien Joely!

Miss Canada Camille Munro (right): Camille looked very pretty in this white lace over satin gown. The dress fit her well and it was the perfect length. Also, white is a good color choice against her gorgeous skin tone. Both of these women did well--gown-wise.

Miss India Navneet Dhillon: Navneet wore a very Runway Couture gown that reminded of something from Stephane Rolland or Zuhair Murad Haute Couture. But unfortunately that is were the gown should have remained. The ivory gown featured a see-through stretch tulle base with lace/embroidered applique at the torso and hem. While I give her points for being completely "on trend", this style didn't quite work on Navneet.



Miss Italy Sarah Baderna: Sarah's blue/turquoise/green satin/pleated chiffon and sequin trimmed gown, was an odd choice. I just didn't get it. It was part Cirque du Soleil/part something a fashion school student does for their "Graduating Collection".

Miss Netherlands Jacqueline Steenbeek: Jacqueline is a very pretty woman, I can see why she won the "Miss Netherlands" title. The gown looks a bit 1996 for me; the off-the-shoulder neckline, the silhouette, the fabrication (looks like cheap sequin fabric one buys in Downtown L.A.). But more importantly: why is it so short in the front??  This is a sign that this dress must have been store bought and not custom.



Miss Slovakia Karolina Chomistekova: I kind of like this gown--it was a very pretty pale pink organza A-line strapless gown with a one-shoulder draped detail. It was not something stupendous and "Oh My Goodness, She Should Get a Gown Award for", but...good gown, nonetheless.

Miss Ukraine Anna Zayachkivska: Anna wore a red column gown with a blue/lilac/red jacquard attached back overskirt. It looks a bit dated. This gown does NOTHING to her beauty and certainly does not give her any "red carpet" pizazz; she looks like the hostess at a Renaissance Fair Buffet.



Miss Unites States Olivia Jordan: United States' representative, Olivia wore this perfectly fitted strapless red mermaid-shaped gown. It was simple and without any Beauty Pageant "bells and whistles" but to me , it was definitely a Stand Out! She is Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman"...for 2013!



The Gowns That Missed The Top 10/20 Spots...But Were GREAT on my List

Miss Venezuela Karen Soto: Now, this is A GOWN! Leave it to Venezuela to "bring it". Some of you might wonder what's the difference between this gown and one I complained about --"Miss Brazil" for example--that style-wise, looks similar. Well, Pageant Kids, it's all about the fit, choice of fabric and the fact that everything works. this gown is  made like a true Paris Haute Couture gown is made and it shows. This champagne colored gown is of silk ziberline with hand-sewn Swarovski crystal applique and featured a perfectly bias-pleated bustier section.



Miss Bahamas De'Andra Bannister: De'Andra wore a strapless gown with silver sequins and salmon pink colored satin asymmetrical flounces. The gown fit well and looked wonderful onstage in the "Miss World 2013" Final Show.

Miss Czech Republic Lucie Kovandova: Kudos to Lucie for wearing a very simple yet elegant ocean-blue off-the-shoulder strapless gown with gathered midriff that was so red carpet-ready and not tacky-licious. Whoever is running that country's pageant--and styling it's winners: Very good!



Miss Lithuania Ruta Mazureviciute: Ruta dared to be "different" at last Saturday evening's "Miss World 2013" Final Show. She wore an ivory sheer chiffon gown with a unitard underneath. This look is VERY RUNWAY. Did it work for the "Miss World"? I liked it, but what did you guys think?

Miss Cote D'Ivoire Aissata Ezzedine: One word--WOW! This multicolored sequined strapless gown is one of my FAVORITES of the entire night! And on Aissata, it was spectacular! How this gorgeous woman did not end up in the Top 20...or Top 10, if not the Final 5, is beyond me.

And now...finally...The "Uh Oh!"/"Girl, What Were You Thinking?" of Miss World 2013:

Miss Chinese Taipei Cinzia Chang: Cinzia! Huney: What is this? Dirty colored tulle full skirt and a mint green satin peplum bustier. No and no. It looks like a Fashion Student's version of an old John Galliano-for-Dior dress. Oh, and yes, I can see your shoes. Not cute. Unless it is supposed to be "tea length" (it's not) or Hi-Lo (it's also NOT!), then seeing the shoes are OK, otherwise, next!



Miss Malaysia Melinder Bhullar: Who is going to the Prom in 1989? Melinder is. Poor thang.



The Top Three "Uh Oh's" of Miss World 2013 Are...

Miss Finland Meija Kerisalmi: Meija--and her designer--have been watching WAAAY too much "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding:" TV shows. This dress is just plain tacky. Maybe this is considered "red carpet fab" in Finland...but I highly doubt it. This concoction is a Big Bird Prom-a-Licious Gypsy/Romani Wedding Mess.

Miss Malta Donna Leyland: Oh Donna, you are so cute. However, your gown is not. This ivory satin and chiffon hi-lo dress doesn't make any sense. I really only want to focus on why it is so short--and so close to her CHA-CHA--in the front??? Please tell me Donna? Please?

Miss Guadeloupe Sheryna can der Koelen: Sheryna...darling...please explain this dress to me? Sheryna wore a lilac colored kimono-inspired get-up as her "Miss World 2013" Final Show gown. Why? The dress looked like it was made from polyester satin, badly constructed (rippling seams!) and way too short, and then, if that wasn't enough, they had to add cheap trim on the edges. What's that saying: the Cheap Comes Out Expensive. Enough said. Maybe next year Miss Guadeloupe.